


Anamnesis

by Auntie_Dot



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flashbacks, Murder, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-01-13 08:36:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18465352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auntie_Dot/pseuds/Auntie_Dot
Summary: One-offs for the story Knife's Edge. Characters and scenarios vary.





	1. Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

> Vivian's early life, and the event(s) that led to her living on her own and ultimately crossing paths with the Sov twins. May be added to Knife's Edge or reworked to be added to the fic at a later date.
> 
> I really wanted to write this?? And writing it I realized I was making it a little /too/ descript. Had to tone it down by five.

Vivian’s father had given the youngest of his daughters a list of items to collect from his fellow scribes. The other scribes questioned why he didn’t come to retrieve the texts he required, himself.

 

 _It’s not my business to question my parents’ motives_ she told them. A dutiful daughter. A daughter that never questioned her parents.

 

Vivian was the youngest of three daughters. Her eldest sister followed their father’s steps dutifully, without question. The middle sister found her calling as a Corsair and was home from training for a short time before returning.

 

 _You will be a midwife like your mother._ It was never a question. Vivian kept silent her formative years. She took her anger out on the wildlife in the woods whenever she could. No one would question mutilated creatures in the wilds. No one would ever know her secret.

 

Before the youngest daughter left, her father’s colleges asked again why he wasn’t present for the day.

 

 _Father was feeling ill. Mother wanted us all to remain quarantined but father insisted he wanted to work from bed._ Fair enough, they agreed. As Vivian left she could hear them complementing her father on having such well-mannered children.

 

If they had known.

 

Vivian, the soft-spoken young woman. Calm, collected on the outside, a burning inferno inside. One who could calm frantic, pained woman with her words. Lay softly the terrible news of a newborn not surviving. There was an emptiness to her face as the families would lean on her for support. Her mother always chalked it up to her ability to keep her emotions separated from work.

 

Truth be told she could care less.

 

There was only so much to invest into others’ happiness. Barely enough to fulfill her own.

 

The neighbors greeted Vivian as she walked back home. Who’s who of the Queen’s Court. Far from the wilds. Here the most wild you could find was one’s garden. Cats were the top of the food chain.

 

It made her sick.

 

Youngest daughter came home to an ajar door. The air wafting from inside smelt different than the incense her mother always burned. It smelt of iron and dread.

 

A Paladin off duty walked by. Vivian called out to her and asked for company. She explained how she found the door.

 

_I fear something’s happened. I closed the door when I left. Mother wanted us to remain quarantined until we got better._

 

The pair stepped inside. Lights were off, thick curtains drawn over the windows. The Paladin used a flashlight to help them see better. Foyer was clear, as were the two sitting areas and dining rooms. But the smell of iron continued.

 

Upon entering the kitchen the first sign of something wrong showed. A small trail of blood led from another area of the house to the sink. Blood stained the white cabinets and floor as if someone leaned against it. The Paladin checked the sink and turned to tell the youngest daughter to leave the house.

 

Vivian hadn’t followed.

 

She started calling for the daughter. Calling for her to leave, for them to call proper authorities. Something had happened. They needed to keep the area clear for the investigators.

 

There was a scream. A blood-chilling scream.

 

Running upstairs now. The Paladin followed the sounds to one of the bedrooms. There was blood on the walls up here, on the floor.

 

In the closest room was the first horror. Blood pooled around the remains. Splatter covered the furniture, the walls, the ceiling. The smell of death hit the woman like a punch to the throat. It took all of her restraint to keep her stomach as she moved to the next room.

 

Another scene, much similar. The individual had been in bed when they met their fate. Shredded sheets soaked up what blood they could but failed to conceal the damage done. The Paladin moved on to the next.

 

Blood on the door indicated the perpetrator checked this room. This must be the youngest’s room. Prints led to the bed, closet, bathroom. Each was checked. Each possessed bloody prints.

 

The final room was there the Paladin found Vivian. She was sobbing on the floor against the wall. Her hands covered her face. She picked the youngest up from the ground and left the horror to find proper authorities.

 

Each member of the family had been dismembered. Their limbs cleaved from their bodies with such anger no one would think possible for one Awoken to have. Prints all originated from one individual, though.

 

Political, the investigators assumed. Heretics mad at the scribe who took their fury out on the rest of the family. How lucky for the youngest daughter to have been gone!

 

Some insisted the killer wasn’t some political terrorist. That it was the lone survivor. Others insisted that it would be impossible. Vivian was a gentle soul, they insisted. A traumatized young woman who couldn’t see blood now without breaking down in tears. She had no family, no friends.

 

Queen Alis Li had even met the orphan. She asked Vivian in earnest if she had nothing to do with her family’s passing. For her word was to hold no secret from one another.

 

“No” Vivian told her.

 

The Queen promised her protection, and justice. She could take as long as needed to mourn, to grieve, to heal unhealable wounds. Only when Vivian was ready she could pursue whatever she wanted in life.

 

Her new home was at the edge of the wilds. Next door was an outpost always occupied. If something happened, as was instructed, she was to retreat there.

 

Vivian spent her days in the woods. She had no need to tend a garden when the woods was _her_ garden.

 

One day some of the guards were speaking among one another. Among them was a man with black hair and bright orange eyes. He took one look towards Vivian, excused himself, and approached. But the guards were protective of their quasi-charge. They wanted him nowhere near the orphan.

 

 _I’m sure she doesn’t bite_ the man said in jest.

 

Vivian welcomed him into her home. She served him tea in her family’s antique set.

 

 _Uldren_ was his name. She swore she heard it before. Maybe her father had mentioned something to them…?

 

His clothes were a little dirty, boots covered in a layer of multicolored mud. She would have to clean the couch when he left.

 

“Are you a member of the Queen’s Court?”

 

“Ugh, no” Uldren replied. He made a face of disgust before taking another sip of tea. His response brought a giggle out of her. With a raised brow he asked,

 

“What?”

 

“I can’t stand the lot myself, either.”

 

Uldren smiled. It didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

“There’s a whole world out there for you to explore, you know.” A seed.

 

“I know. But those above want me kept on a leash.” Be it for her own protection or for others’.

 

“If you don’t like them why do you listen to them?” Another seed.

 

Oh, how Vivian wanted to leave these formalities. Formalities etched into her by her demanding mother and overbearing father. Her elder sister had left before returning for break.

 

She only returned at the threat of estrangement.

 

Now her ashes were scattered in the Lake of Leaves with her eldest sister, mother, and father. Others wept for the loss.

 

Vivian couldn’t find it in her heart to care. Her apathy was accepted as trauma.

 

Uldren asked if she had a spare room.

 

“Only for one night. For my sister and I.”

 

“I have a couple and a large enough tub to hide three bodies in” she replied. The pair shared quiet laughter. “I never have guests. You are more than welcome to stay as long as needed.”

 

“Everyone’s scared of the murderer, huh?” His words made the breath in her lungs cease. “The guards said they have to make sure no one comes around.”

 

“They’re protective.”

 

“The Queen’s orders, right?” His words were laced with a poison. Vivian nodded before shifting in her seat. “Apparently some of those scribes think you had something to do with it.”

 

“Of course they do. Awoken want answers other than the unknown.”

 

Uldren shrugged his shoulders and nodded. He set his cup and dish down and rose to his feet. She followed soon after. Leading him to the back door, to the forest, she enjoyed his company.

 

For the first time in her life, the youngest daughter felt genuinely happy in another’s presence. As much as she didn’t want him to leave, for him to stay with her alone, she withheld her excitement for his sister.

 

Once Uldren was gone, one of the guards stepped over to Vivian. She crossed her arms and turned to the smaller woman.

 

“Be careful. The man’s a snake.”

 

“I think he’s charming” Vivian replied quietly. She felt her cheeks warm when the guard balked at her.

 

“That’s part of hi- you’re blushing! Look at you! Little Vivian’s got a little crush!”

 

“Shut up! No I don’t! Shush!”

 

* * *

 

It was nighttime by the time Uldren and his sister returned. He held his sister close as Vivian welcomed the pair into her home.

 

“-been a while since we’ve actually slept in beds, Sister.” Uldren was smiling, _beaming_ as he led the blond-haired woman to the couch. He helped her carefully sit down then looked to Vivian. Before he could say anything, she offered the pair iced tea with berries.

 

“Thank you” the woman said. She took a small, tentative sip before downing half of the glass in two gulps. Uldren grinned and looked to Vivian again. Before she could refill his sister’s glass she raised her hand. “I’m okay.”

 

“’id you have any semblance of dinner yet” Vivian asked the pair as she returned to the kitchen.

 

“No. Figured you had something here” Uldren called out. He kicked his boots off. At a glance from his sister he got up and put them next to the back door.

 

“Do I look like a cook? I have food delivered.” Vivian couldn’t cook. She had caused too much with the neighbors with the amount of smoke usually caused. It must be cheaper having the food delivered now since she doesn’t waste so much in her efforts.

 

But if there was one thing she missed, it was her mother’s roasted vegetables. Nothing she found so far could match that.

 

“Spoiled, aren’t we?” Uldren crossed his arms while watching Vivian pull out containers of food from the fridge. “It looks edible at least.”

 

“It wouldn’t if I cooked it” Vivian replied with a smile. Uldren rolled his eyes but smiled when she giggled. “I mean it! Go ask the guards! They thought I was burning the house down last time!”

 

The pair laughed together. His sister watched the pair with a shadow of a smile on her face. She too removed her shoes and placed them next to her brother’s before joining him and Vivian at the kitchen island.

 

There were fruits, vegetables, meats, breads, glazes, gravies, all steaming. Even a couple bottles of liquor. Enough for the three of them to last a couple of meals. What exactly had Uldren said to this woman?

 

“I never got your name” Vivian said to Uldren’s sister.

 

“Mara.”

 

“Well Mara, you get first pick.”

 

* * *

 

Uldren and Mara fell asleep beside one another on Vivian’s couch. Vivian topped her glass with the last bit of the liquor and more tea. It was terribly sweet, ‘terrible’ according to Uldren, but palatable to her standards. Her mind was abuzz, but there was a feeling of butterflies inside her stomach.

 

The twins had business with the Queen. Mara did, at least. They would depart in the morning but return at night. As long as nothing happened.

 

Vivian’s cheeks were flushed as she watched the pair sleep. If she had half the connection they had, to her own family...things would’ve ended different. She wanted to tell them the truth. But that secret was the most precious thing she had. This whole house could burn for all that Vivian could care.

 

She wanted to stay near _them_. She wanted to feel some of that connection. Like a person deprived of water, at the edge of death, oh how Vivian yearned.

 

Mara stirred. She shifted, turning from one side to another, before stilling.

 

Vivian remained in her high chair at the kitchen island for the night. Watching the pair, keeping an eye on the doors, the windows whose shades were drawn.

 

If only they knew.

 

* * *

 

 

Vivian awoke nestled in a corner of a dilapidated building. There was a blanket drawn over her form. The numbness in her arms had only slithered further up, towards her elbows. In the corner of her eye was another form.

 

“Finally awake!” Cayde sat on the ground next to the Awoken. He rolled forward as Vivian began to move around. “Zavala said you could sleep in the house. Still that pissed at ‘im?”

 

“Wanted to stay away from everyone.” She pulled the blanket off and stared at her arms. Wiggling and writhing below her uniform, blue skin was tainted with the swirling darkness of Taken. She was surprised Cayde wanted to be anywhere near her.

 

But maybe there was a reason he kept watch all night.

 

“I need to find where these other Guardians are getting their Light. I need to stop this.” It was a struggle to rise. Until Cayde reached out and grabbed her arm. She nearly fell when she tried to pull herself away from him.

 

“What? You think a little Taken’s gonna scare me away, kid?”

 

“I’m _older_ than you.”

 

“Not in my book.”

 

Vivian narrowed her eyes at her Vanguard.

 

“You’re going to kill yourself if you go alone.” Cayde’s joyful expression shifted in an instant.

 

“Then so be it. I will incinerate myself before I am Taken.” She pointed to a metal canister strapped to her waist. It glowed an orange under her brown cloak. “That’s why I brought that.”

 

“I can get Rueben and-”

 

“No! I don’t want to be near anyone!” No, she wanted to be with her old family. Not her blood-kin, but the family she made for herself. Mara, Uldren, Sjur, Petra, Jolyon...they were her family now.

 

The memory of her mother slapping her across the face flashed for an instant. Vivian jerked away from Cayde as her hands went to protect her face. The Exo’s expression softened as he watched her.

 

“If that’s how you wanna do it...” he sighed and shook his head. “You sure you don’t want anyone with you?”

 

“Yes” she groaned exasperated. “I _will_ fix this, one way or another. By myself.”

 

“If you get back- _no_ , when you get back we’re having a talk. A serious one.”

 

“Sure...”

 

“Boss?”

 

“The Queen’s my boss now, Chief. Thought it was obvious by my...” Vivian’s voice trailed as she motioned down to her uniform. She had thrown a plain brown cape over her Corsair uniform in a feeble attempt to make herself blend in. Everyone had muttered and whispered when she arrived.

 

“I’ll take Chief.” Cayde clasped his hand on Vivian’s shoulder and gave her a squeeze hard enough to hurt. “Make it back in one piece.”

 

* * *

 

 

_Gero Mou coughed as Dita Mou placed a gentle hand on his back._

 

_“Vivian” Dita called out. She waited, too long in her taste, as her youngest daughter appeared. Vivian looked as if she had only gotten out of bed just now. “Look at you, child! You’re a mess! It is your father who’s ill and yet you look worse!”_

 

_“I apologize, mother. I got home la-”_

 

_“No excuses! Bring me the medicine over there.” Dita motioned with her head to the mortar and pestle sitting at a nearby vanity. Herbs and liquids alike were strewn about. “Hurry.”_

 

 _“Dita, dear, I’m not dying” Gero muttered as he wiped the drool from his mouth. He had been bedridden for a day now. There was something passing around between the_ _other_ _sc_ _ribes and he had managed to catch it._

 

_Dita shushed him as Vivian approached with the mortar. She pulled her husband’s robes open before ripping the mortar from Vivian’s hands. Using her fingers she applied the medicine over his purple-blue skin._

 

_“Useless child” the older Awoken growled. “Should have been here this whole time.”_

 

_“Dita-” Gero took a sharp breath and started coughing again. Dita set the mortar down and began to pat his back._

 

 _“_ Hush, _love. Vivian, I need something for his cough that he can ingest.”_

 

_“Do you want me to go get-”_

 

_“Why fetch something when you can make it right over there? Will you leave a mother in labor and fetch towels from the store?”_

 

_Vivian took a calm breath and let it out of her nose silently. Without another word she turned to the medicines on the vanity. It took a few minutes to mix and crush everything down. There wasn’t enough water to help._

 

_“I’m getting water” she announced to her mother before the woman could scream. The words her mother said went through one ear and out the other without much thought. It wasn’t often her father got sick but whenever he did, her mother would be even more unbearing. Vivian’s mentors always said she was an excellent student but Dita held such high standards for her daughter._

 

 _In the washroom off their bedroom Vivian continued to mix the medicines while carefully adding water to the mix. Too little and it was a sticky glob. Too much would mean her mother young yell more._ _Her eyes caught her reflection in the mirror._

 

_Fire-red hair was lazily tied back with a ribbon. Her electric blue eyes were almost glazed over. It looked like no one was home inside her own mind. Bags were forming under the young woman’s eyes from the nights spent helping light-night labors._

 

_Last night an infant died in her arms. The mother accused her of drowning the newborn. They were going to conduct an autopsy to see what might’ve gone wrong, at the mother’s insistence. Her mentor told Vivian that she did all she was supposed to. That the newborn likely died of something else. Until then, she was stuck home studying._

 

_There was something else in her eyes. Something darker. Something that scared her. Vivian shook her head and finished grinding down the mixture. She returned as her father suffered another coughing fit._

 

_“It took you long enough! Give it here, you’re not drowning your father!” Dita nearly dropped the mortar as Vivian handed it to her. She helped Gero drink the contents, set the small bowl down, whipped around and slapped Vivian on the cheek. She slapped her three more times._

 

_“Useless daughter! Lilli would be a better nurse than you!”_

 

_“That’s enough” Gero called out. He let out a pitiful groan before slumping against the nest of pillows at his back. “Hitting her won’t help, you stupid woman.”_

 

_The husband and wife exchanged poisonous glances at one another. For the first time that morning the house had fallen silent._

 

_“Vivian. Leave.” Gero waved his hand but didn’t look at his daughter. Vivian quickly bowed and closed the door on her way out._

 

* * *

 

 

_Vivian unearthed a box from the earth. She removed the scrubs and smock before reburying the box. Her cheek still stung from her mother’s beating the day prior._

 

 _Hatred burned in her chest._ _Dita had spoken to her mentors and insisted Vivian remain home until her father was better. Her elder sister Lilli, who was supposed to go back to continue her training as a Corsair, was stuck at home now with the same illness. Dita imposed a family-wide quarantine._

 

_Now Vivian could feel her breathing become more laborious. If she caught ill she would have to have extensive testing done before she could continue her training._

 

_Her father never stood up for her._

 

_They always wanted at least one son. Dita had left the gender of their children to chance every time. They hoped they would finally have a son when Vivian was born._

 

_Lilli wanted to take Vivian far away. Find any purpose for her youngest sister. Their home was too toxic._

 

_“The Corsairs are kind. They take care of each other like we do but it’s...different.”_

 

 _Vivian didn’t want to be a Corsair. Or a midwife. Or a_ _s_ _cribe._

 

_She returned home at night without her mother realizing she left. Waiting to change until everyone was asleep._

 

_When the house fell silent, she retrieved the large knife from the kitchen. The same one her mother used to chop through bone and tendon and flesh. The same one her father sharpened before he fell ill._

 

Every life holds infinite possibility. Every life lost is a tragedy, for we will never know what in their infinity they could accomplish.

 

_Those words echoed in her mind over and over. Even as Vivian silently made her way back upstairs and entered her eldest sister’s room._

 

_Katja Mou slept in her bed. Her back was turned to where Vivian stood._

 

_Even now Vivian wanted to stop. She only wanted to get rid of their oppressive parents. But if any of her siblings were to live they would tell of their abuse. One of them would be the victim._

 

_The medicine put in their tea the night prior would mess with coagulation. It would be harder to tell when they passed._

 

_It was all planned._

 

 _The only one to fight back was Lilli. Of course the Corsair-to-be would realize something was wrong. Their years of play-wrestling paid off, though. The youngest daughter prevailed. Not even her parents put up a fight. Her mother looked at her youngest_ failure _when she saw her lover’s condition._

 

_“A monster” Dita gasped before she too was snuffed out._

 

_Her task now done, Vivian returned to her parent’s bathroom, washed up, gathered her scrubs with her mother’s scrubs in a bag, and set them aside the couch. For hours she simply sat there, thinking of how to make it all not point her way._

 

_Her plan? Dispose of the scrubs where she trains, let them know she will be gone for a few more days per her mother’s instructions. That Dita had finally caught the illness ans it was up to their youngest to care for the family. Then, go to her father’s, collect the research he was working on, let them know he will return in a day or two when he is better._

 

_To make it all the more believable Vivian would wear a mask, one that those who are sick yet have to interact with the public would wear._

 

_She waited until daytime peaked through cracks in the drawn curtains, then set about her plan._


	2. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mara and Uldren drop by at an odd hour for help. Vivian has a rough time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> None of the chapters in this fic are going to be in any sort of chronological order.

Vivian jolted out of a dead sleep. There was banging downstairs. How long had it been going on?

 

No matter the reason, she was awake now. Forcing herself out of bed, slipping on a pair of slippers, the woman made her way down the stairs. Her eyes caught motion at her back door.

 

More knocking. Frantic, almost.

 

“Hey” Uldren’s muffled voice drifted through the quiet air. “Let us in.”

 

Vivian was quick to comply. Her eyes widened at the sight. Mara was keeping Uldren upright, who had a knife sticking out of his gut. And it wasn’t a small knife, either.

 

“Here, here.” She took Mara’s place before carrying Uldren to the bathroom. “There’s a board there. Unfold it and set it down with the print facing up over the tub.”

 

The sudden brightness burned her eyes when the blonde-haired woman turned on the light above. She was quick, quiet, seemingly unconcerned as she did as instructed. Together they set Uldren down on the board. Vivian hurried out of the room to bring in one of the end tables from the sitting area. She spun around to one of the closets that lined the wall, depositing most of its contents unto the table.

 

“Hope the other guy looks worse.”

 

“She does” Mara replied in an even tone. Vivian took a moment to flash a toothy grin at her as she scrubbed her hands down.

 

“Now, you two do know I’m not a doctor, right?”

 

“I thought you were” Uldren groaned. He went to grab the knife’s handle but before he could move it Mara’s hand slapped his own away.

 

“I was training to be a midwife, not a doctor.”

 

“What’s the difference?”

 

Vivian snorted. Mara covered her face with a bloodied hand and shook her head, shoulders shaking in quiet laughter. Whatever joke was played was lost on their group’s jester.

 

“What’s the difference?!”

 

“Midwives help with labor, brother. _Childbirth._ ”

 

“Oh...”

 

“You’re here now. Can’t guarantee you won’t walk away without a scar, but we can try. Good idea Mara, keeping the knife in. Keeps blood loss to a minimal that way.” Vivian unwrapped sterile tools and set them down upon their thin plastic wrappers. She pulled up a small bench and began to cut away at Uldren’s armor and shirt.

 

“You better pay for new armor” Uldren hissed. He liked this set in particular and hoped he’d only have to get a new shirt after tonight. He caught his sister’s calm gaze and let out a frustrated, pained sigh. There’d be a better time. “Like what you see?”

 

“Well,” Vivian drew a breath between her teeth as she withdrew armor and blood-stained clothing. Her fingers gently touched the wound itself, earning another hiss from its bearer. “Right, right. Uh...did you get in a fight with a Corsair, Uldren?”

 

“No. Got in a fight with Queen Alis herself.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” As much as she’d normally laugh at his jabs, her mind was too frantic to let the joke stick. She fought flashes of her family’s mutilated remains, _all the blood._ There wasn’t much yet, _not yet, not yet, not yet._ It was going to only get worse. “If we’re lucky it missed your vitals.”

 

“And if we’re not?”

 

“You’d be dead by now. Uh, Mara, you can go out there if you want, it’s going to get a little...ugh.”

 

There was silence from the sister. She moved from the doorway at this point, but returned a minute later with the other end table.

 

“Hope you love injections” Vivian said with a smile. Her hand moved to the plastic device that held a clear mixture of medication. Normally, this blend would be used to help ease birthing, but there was enough sedative to dull the pain of stitches and then some. She watched Uldren’s reaction as her hand reached for a device and moved it over his arm. She moved it until the small light on the top flashed green. She lined the needle up with a crosshair and pressed it in. From the corner of her vision she could see Mara sit down on the table she brought along.

 

Moving to the end of the board now, Vivian unplugged a hole down by his feet. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to see the blood, see her friend hurt.

 

It must have been obvious to Mara. She leaned forward and reached for the offending weapon.

 

“On the count of three we’re removing the knife.” It wasn’t a request, but a demand. When Vivian moved for the handle Mara held her hand. “If it’s too much we can have a doctor come. Don’t force yourself.”

 

“No, no, I’m okay.” The redhead shook her head and took a deep breath. “I’m okay...”

 

“One,” Mara moved back to the knife’s handle, “three.” In one quick movement she pulled the blade out at the same angle it resided. Uldren bit back a scream behind his own gloved hand as his other went to cover the wound. Mara’s hand pressed against the wound while she handed Vivian the knife.

 

“We need to check that...no internals were hit.” The sight of the blood was already making Vivian’s head spin. Yet who was the one who went through medical training?

 

_Her father laid in bed. His purple-blue skin was splattered and stained with his own blood. His eyes never opened, never had the chance to see his killer._

 

An arm against her back brought Vivian back. Mara was reaching around to grab tools. Vivian shifted the table so it sat between them now. This woman had more secrets than Vivian realized.

 

With a quick examination the pair agreed that everything important was missed. Lucky Uldren, he got to live another night.

 

They worked together, Vivian and Mara, for the next hour. Uldren whined and complained the whole way through but otherwise let the women tend to him. The frustration was visible on his face the whole time.

 

Once he was stitched up, once the bleeding _finally_ ceased, could Vivian relax. She moved the table covered in dirty tools and materials to the shower area so Mara could get to the sink to wash her hands. Uldren looked a little worse for wear, a little paler than normal. If he stayed in bed for the next week he’d feel better than before. _If,_ of course.

 

With Vivian’s hands washed, she ran water down Uldren’s side and back to clean the board off. Only now could she smell how strong the scent of blood had become. It made her head start spinning.

 

“Gotta get him to bed. I got this end if you have that.” She pointed to the handles located on each short end of the board. Together the two women hefted their patient and board, and together they moved him to the room he occupied his last visit. Careful, ever so carefully, they got him on the bed, covered the stitches with bandages, and covered him up with a blanket.

 

It was done. All done.

 

Uldren fell asleep once he was put in bed. With the help of another injection. When Mara glanced out a window the first streaks of morning sun were beginning to rise in the horizon. Vivian brought her a chair from downstairs. One big enough that she could stretch her legs in and sleep, too.

 

“This is a Corsair’s knife” Vivian said as she pulled the cleaned blade from her belt. She spun it around in her fingers- a trick her older sister had taught her. But it was a trick done with tired, rusty fingers. The blade fell and clattered unto the ground. “What’s he doing fightin’ them?”

 

“He made a bad bet and they came to collect.” Mara pulled the chair close to her brother’s bedside before collapsing in it. She watched Vivian pull up the leg rests and fetch her a blanket. “They’re dead now. No need to worry about them.”

 

“All of them? You sure?” Vivian draped the blanket over Mara and tucked her legs in. She hurried out of the room and returned with a pillow that she carefully set up for her friend’s head. “I can always ask the guard next door to-”

 

“Don’t get them involved” Mara warned. Her eyes were struggling to stay open. But they were now focused on her twin’s relaxed expression. The faintest hint of a smile crossed her face. “Just don’t let anyone in.”

 

“Of course not. I have no other friends than you two.” And that, the redhead was being honest about. She wouldn’t count her neighboring guards as friends in the slightest. All those she had befriended in school had since abandoned her, cast her out. No one wanted to be around her save for Mara and Uldren. “I’m going to clean up outside. So no one suspects anything.”

 

Vivian waited for an answer. But when she turned to Mara, she saw the woman had drifted off to sleep. Her hand had found its way to Uldren’s and wrapped her fingers around his own. The sight brought a smile to the smaller woman’s features.

 

The birds were just starting their morning songs when she stepped outside. She went to work scrubbing the doorway, the stone path the twins took from the woods. Hell, she even cleaned the dew-damp grass. No one would pay her any mind. No one ever did.

 

Now she set about cleaning her house. As quiet as she could she scrubbed the floors and carpets of Uldren’s blood. The bathroom itself was a crime scene. She scrubbed the walls, the floors, the tub, the sink, shower, tables, trays. Everything. Saving the surgical tools for sterilization later, she tucked them in an air-tight box and tucked them in a corner between the tub and the wall. Her eyes caught the rising morning sun peaking through the small window over her head.

 

Vivian closed the blinds. She moved to Uldren’s room and closed the blinds and curtains there so her guests could get a proper rest. Neither of them stirred, especially her patient.

 

Fluids. The man needed fluids. So she showered in her washroom, changed into clean clothes, left a note in the kitchen, and set off. Into the city to a distribution center that didn’t ask questions if they got a little extra on the side. They didn’t ask why she needed fluids or plasma or blood or powerful pain medication, or a transfusion kit. Whole journey back she feared someone would stop her and ask for paperwork.

 

But no one did. For no one seemed to notice the little redhead walking by. The neighbors didn’t notice her departure nor return.

 

When she returned home, it was still quiet. She put the extra blood bags in the fridge and only hoped that no one would yell at her for it later. Her body was beginning to grow slower, eyes struggling to stay open, mind beginning to grow foggy at the edges. Before drowsiness could claim her she wanted to make sure Uldren would rest easier.

 

As soon as she walked in she was greeted by Mara. The woman was standing at the windows when Vivian walked in. The very knife that nearly ended her brother’s life the night prior was gripped in her hand. But once she saw whom it was she set the knife down.

 

“I got supplies” Vivian said quietly. “Has he woken up at all?”

 

“Earlier.” Mara watched as her friend set up the bag of fluids. She couldn’t help but notice the shaking her her hands and approached. Before Vivian could administer the IV line, Mara took the needle and did it herself. “You’ve done enough.”

 

“He’s still my patient, Mara” Vivian whined. “I can handle this. Get your rest.” At every step, the taller woman countered her, took over. Every time she glanced back at the redhead. If anything was going wrong she’d certainly complain even louder.

 

“Listen to your own advice.”

 

She was right. Vivian was barely keeping awake, barely standing. Only the fear of Uldren waking up in pain was driving her forward. So instead of arguing, she sat down in the chair Mara had occupied earlier and wrapped herself in the blanket. Her eyes slid shut and soon enough she drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

“There she is. Hey.”

 

Vivian stirred at the sound of Uldren’s voice. She forced her eyes open but blinked at the amount of light pouring into the room. Her eyes hurt. The pain spread back through her brain and spread like roots. Someone pushed a warm cup into her hands. When she moved to take a sip some of the cup’s contents spilled down her face and chest and lightly burned her skin. The same hand that offered the beverage quickly took it away. Then carefully put the lip of the cup to the redhead’s lips.

 

With eyes shut she took a careful sip. It was tea. Sweetened with some kind of honey and fruit. Surely something made from what she had laying around the house.

 

“Let her sleep, sister. She needs it more than me.”

 

“I’m awake” Vivian slurred. She forced her eyes opened again only to snap them shut once more. “I’m awake...”

 

“Just go back to sleep” Mara replied. She set the cup in her hands down on the table behind the chair before pulling the blanket back up around Vivian’s chest.

 

Oh, Vivian didn’t have to be told twice. As much as she wanted to stay awake, her body just wanted to drift off again. Before she could stop herself her eyes fluttered shut.

 

* * *

 

It was nighttime again when she finally woke up. But this time Mara was nowhere to be seen. When Vivian stirred it seemed to wake Uldren up.

 

“Up for good this time” he asked, giving her a toothy grin. “It’s starting to hurt a little.”

 

“Oh!” Vivian nearly jumped to her feet. She quickly added a measured amount of pain medicine into a port in his IV line. To make it move a little faster she squeezed on the bag hanging above their heads just a little. “When was the last time you had any?”

 

“Earlier today. Sister’s been doing your job for you.” Uldren’s ember orbs followed her around. He didn’t stop staring at her disheveled form. “She went to bed a little bit ago. Got takeout and left some for you in the fridge if you want any, she said.”

 

Vivian merely nodded. Her hand pulled the blankets away from his body and she let out a hiss at the sight of the bandages. They hadn’t been changed all day, clearly. She grabbed her sterilized tools and handfuls of sealed bandages and packets of antibiotic before pulling up a rolling chair.

 

First was the careful removal of the bandages. The smell of blood hit her like a wall, twisting her calm expression. It seemed to concern Uldren. He stirred just a little but stopped when she placed a hand on his arm.

 

“You’re fine. Just please...don’t move.”

 

With patience, the bandages slowly came off. The gauze was a little stuck to some scabbing at the wound which unfortunately went with the gauze. Blood welled up in spots, which was normal. Especially with how much he was moving around. As she applied the ointment to the wound her eyes moved to Uldren’s face.

 

“You can’t move around so much. Your body’s trying to heal and the more you move the more stuff opens up. Got it?”

 

“I heal fast” Uldren replied. He raised his upper lip a little and frowned down at Vivian. “Three days I’ll be better.”

 

“I’d still keep you here for a week. Also gives you time to keep your head low in case there’s an issue with whatever situation this arose from.”

 

“I’m not laying in bed doing nothing for a week. No way.” He crossed his arms over his chest, frown growing heavier. Vivian rolled her eyes and shook her head. She cursed to herself when she realized she forgot something and had to get up to get it. While she was up, and without another word, she left the room. She returned a few minutes later with clean hands, a tablet, and a bottle of sanitizer.

 

“You can read, watch vids, you can talk to people on the net. All from that.” Vivian found her place on her chair. She opened a pack of gauze and carefully placed it over the wound before putting bandages over it. Finally she taped the whole thing down and sat back to examine her work. Not bad for someone a _few years_ out of practice.

 

Uldren was occupied with the tablet in his hands. She couldn’t see what he was tapping or looking at and, really, did she want to. Knowing him? Once Vivian stood up and tossed the trash in a small bin in the corner did he set the device down next to him.

 

“I owe you for this.”

 

“No you don’t” Vivian quipped back at him. “It’s what friends do. What my...limited grasp on the concept is, at least.”

 

The answer didn’t satisfy him. Uldren frowned a little before pointing to the armchair stationed next to his bed. Once she was done putting supplies away Vivian angled it against the bed and flopped down in it. In the subtle darkness of the room, the only source of light coming from outside from moonlight, he wouldn’t be able to see her growing blush.

 

“Have you ever had friends” he asked in a quiet tone. The way his head dipped for a moment was an indicator that the pain medicine was starting to kick in. Good.

 

“As a child? Uh...no, not really. My father and mother homeschooled the three of us. My older sisters would play with the other kids in our neighborhood but there wasn’t anyone my age. No one wanted to hang around with a little kid.” Vivian flashed a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. She fought to keep back tears. Her fingers picked at the stitching of the chair, nail running over the subtle utilitarian embroidery. She stopped when he reached out and clasped her hand. Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest as he pulled her hand closer.

 

“Did you have friends at university?”

 

“Kind of. It’s hard to…I, uh….” She blinked a couple times, forcing what remnants of tears were welling in her eyes away. “Acquaintances, yes. But friends-friends? No.”

 

“You were fine living alone out here until we just stumbled in, weren’t you?”

 

“Yes.” The tears came back in full force. Her fingers held unto his as she tried to force down a sob. The murders of her family had made her an outcast. She didn’t enjoy going out in public like she once did. Everyone stared at her or just ignored her presence. Everyone had that look on their face, either of pity or scorn. If she could, she would run into the woods and never step foot in the city again. But out here, at the edge of the city and wood, was a perfect balance.

 

“Do you ever think of having a family, Vivian?”

 

“I don’t deserve to have one” she quietly admitted. Uldren raised his brow and turned his head to look at her. His hand pulled away from her own only to reach up and wipe the tears away from the closer cheek.

 

“Did you have something to do with your family’s deaths” he whispered. Vivian turned her head to him. Her eyes were wide, mouth partially open as if to deny like always. Had he been able to see through her veneer this whole time? Would he go to the authorities and tell them?

 

Her breath picked up. She didn’t want to lie to him anymore, not to Uldren. He was too kind a person to do such to. But she was scared he would tell Mara. He told her so much of everything. And she didn’t know how Mara would act with the information-

 

“Yes, or no?”

 

“Yes” she whispered. His thumb glided over her dry lips and up to wipe away at a fresh tear.

 

“Did you do it?”

 

Vivian hesitated. Uldren blinked a few times and let out a breath.

 

“I won’t tell anyone. It’ll be our secret. Promise.”

 

“I did it” she confessed. She took in a sharp breath and let out a quiet sob. “They beat me, Uldren. They beat me, told me I was a failure. Father was sick and mother just started hitting me and-and-and-and-”

 

“Shh.” Uldren’s hand moved from her cheek now to cover her mouth. He didn’t seem outwardly upset by the revelation. Nor did he seem repulsed by her.

 

“I-I’ll never hurt anyone else” she added through his fingers. “Never again. Never. Never. I promise.”

 

“I know you won’t” he replied. He smiled at her as his hand snaked around and pulled her head closer. She shifted in the chair as he pulled her into his chest. She began to quietly cry as Uldren ran his hands through her long unkept red hair. He stopped quickly when he kept finding knots after knots. Instead he simply pet her head, shushing her when she would get a little too loud. “It’s not your secret any longer. Just ours. No one else’s. Promise.”

 

The weight of the world was at least eased off her shoulders just a little. Vivian’s tears stopped eventually. They had drained her of her energy. Laying at this odd and frankly uncomfortable angle didn’t help matters any. Her eyes fluttered shut and she focused on his heartbeat. It was calming, rhythmic. Being this close to him didn’t help any-

 

“You’re not going to sleep like that, are you?” His tone was filled with conceit. He did his best to shimmy to the other side of the bed which left just enough room for her to join him if she were to lay only on her side.

 

When Vivian moved to join him he could finally see the blush on her cheeks as it spread to her neck. In the moonlight she looked ethereal, purple pale skin framed with bright red hair, accompanied with faintly glowing blue eyes. Before she could actually lay down he tugged on her hair and pulled her face to his. A hand reached up and gripped the headboard, preventing her from falling on him. Their lips were centimeters apart. Vivian blinked several times and tried to say something before Uldren pressed his hand against the back of her head.

 

It was the first time he’d ever kissed a woman. Not much different than kissing a man. Vivian had frozen in place, eyes fluttering shut. He could tell it was her first time being kissed. Uldren chuckled against her lips before letting go of her head. Where he expected her to pull away, or run out of the room, she remained for a few moments longer. When she did break the kiss, she dipped down for a second, a third, a fourth.

 

Tears welled in Vivian’s eyes when she finally stopped kissing him. He cupped her cheek and shushed her again. She was shaking. Quickly, she pressed her lips against his. That frantic, scared look in her eyes melted away when he pulled her closer. She finally took her spot pressed up against him. His arm wrapped around her shoulders as she settled down.

 

“When I’m better I’ll take you out somewhere” Uldren muttered into the top of her head. “Just the two of us.”

 

“Then rest so you can get better faster” Vivian replied. She smiled at him before drifting off to sleep. He followed shortly after.


End file.
